


To Have and to Hold

by missauburnleaf



Series: Marriage Vows [5]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Adorable Fíli and Kíli, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, Female Friendship, Fluff, Fígrid February, Fíli and Kíli Brotherly Love, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Memories, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 06:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10077641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missauburnleaf/pseuds/missauburnleaf
Summary: "Again and again, Kíli pulled Tauriel down to his level while they were embracing tightly, just to give her another kiss goodbye."Fíli's thoughts on love and life while Tauriel departs for Mirkwood in order to get medicine for Sigrid.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I know, February is over, but I still have ideas that want to be added to this series... I hope that's okay!

 

Fíli almost rolled his eyes at the scene unfolding in front of him.

Again and again, Kíli pulled Tauriel down to his level while they were embracing tightly, just to give her another kiss goodbye. As if she would be travelling across Middle Earth for a whole year and not be on her way to get some medicine from Mirkwood and would be back the next day.

But then he tried to imagine how he might feel if he were in Kíli's place, having to say goodbye to his love because she had to go all on her own on a mission. Fíli was sure that he wouldn't let Sigrid go alone. Of course, Kíli had also asked their uncle's permission to accompany her, but Thorin had argued that Kíli had other duties.

However, Fíli was convinced that his uncle just felt uncomfortable letting his favourite nephew enter that forest again.

And to be honest, Fíli himself wouldn't have liked the thought of letting his baby brother venture into Mirkwood after everything they had experienced the last time they had been there. Yes, for him, Kíli was still the shrivelled up and reddish looking baby he had held directly after their mother had given birth to her second son because Fíli had been so impatient about meeting his new sibling. He remembered vividly how he had wriggled out of Dwalin's grasp after hearing something that could have only been a baby crying since his mother's screams and curses from earlier had sounded totally different. So he had opened the door to her bedroom and stormed inside, only to be immediately chastised by his uncle who had supported Dís during birth.

Kíli had been a very difficult baby, almost always crying and only calming down when Fíli had been near. Fíli had loved to watch Kíli sleeping in his crib (when their uncle or their mother had lifted him up since he had only been a tiny stripling then, too small look inside on his own) or to hold and caress Kíli when their mother had let them sleep in her bed because she had felt lonely. During the day Dís had put her youngest son into a small basket filled with soft pillows and warm blankets and placed it on the floor so that Fíli could keep an eye on his baby brother (and even entertain him sometimes with stories Uncle Thorin had told him before) while she had been doing household chores or crafting the jewellery she would sell to earn their living.

But this was all in the past now, he was married and a father himself and his baby brother was betrothed.

If anyone had told him or Kíli before the quest that they would finally find their Ones, they would have laughed at whoever had uttered such a claim. Neither him nor Kíli had had ever felt the urge to get seriously involved with any of the young dwarrowdams they had met or to settle down and start a family. Now, in retrospect, Fíli thought that this had maybe been due to the fact that it had always been their fate to fall in love with a daughter of men and an elf respectively.

"Kíli, the faster you let her go, the faster she will be back," Fíli tried to convince his brother.

Tauriel giggled. "He is right, meleth nin. I must go now. Farewell, Kíli," she said while cupping his face between her hands, then she briefly pecked his lips before gracefully mounting her horse.

"Don't worry, Fíli. Tomorrow I will be back with Sigrid's medicine," she called to her future brother-in-law and Fíli gave her a nod and a small smile.

"I appreciate what you are doing for my wife," he declared.

Tauriel returned the smile. "Sigrid is dear to me, like a sister. I want to help her," she answered before leading her horse away from the gate and onto the road that would bring her to Mirkwood and to the elven king.

Kíli stood there, looking miserable and Fíli took pity on him.

"Hey, Kíli, shall we raid the kitchens for food and drink like we did in the past and have a private party, just the two of us like we used to?" he suggested while wrapping his arm around his brother's shoulders. Instantly, Kíli leaned into him, like he had always done when they had been younger and Fíli had still been the taller one.

"I don't know, Fee, somehow I'm not in the mood... I already miss her!" Kíli stated, giving his older brother the puppy eyes, "What if something happens to her? I wish Uncle would have let me go with her!"

Fíli's heart broke. His little brother loved the elf fiercely and it almost made him jealous. Then he remembered that he was the one who already had a wife and a child while Kíli was still waiting for the year of betrothal to be over to finally marry his beloved.

On the one hand, this elvish custom seemed strange to him, why waiting a whole year when you knew what your heart desired? On the other, a year meant nothing to an immortal and considering the fact that they would be bound to the other one for all eternity, he could understand that the elves' motto was to be better safe than sorry before they were forever stuck with someone who turned out to be a passing fancy and not their one true love.

"Ach, Kíli, don't worry. She is a seasoned warrior and knows how to defend herself. I think it's better this way, just imagine she would constantly have to protect you and save your sorry ass..." Fíli joked in order to cheer his little brother up.

It had the desired effect. Kíli actually chuckled about this comment. "Well, sometimes it was me protecting her, I almost died fighting Bolg in order to save her, remember?"

Fíli squeezed his brother's shoulders. "I remember, though only from the others' accounts. We are so lucky to be standing here now, Kíli, this battle could have had a completely different outcome. Sometimes I have nightmares about us dying, all three of us, you, me and uncle. You have no idea how glad I am then that Sigrid is sleeping beside me, waking me up as soon as I start tossing and turning, holding me in her arms, cocooning me with her warmth and her scent..." Fíli interrupted himself when he sensed that his brother started to feel uncomfortable.

Kíli cleared his throat before asking, "Is that why you married Sigrid, Fíli? Because you feel alive and whole when she is with you?"

Fíli needed a moment to think about an answer. Interestingly enough, he and his brother had never talked about their love lives, about their reasons for courting a human and an elf.

After the battle, when Fíli had still been recovering from his wounds and drifting in and out of consciousness, it had been a certain scent, like wild flowers and lake water, as well as the soothing tune of a lullaby, not unlike the one his mother had sung to him and Kíli when they had been children, that had connected him to this world. Fíli was convinced that if it hadn't been for these simple things, his spirit might not have resisted the pull of his ancestors calling him to the Halls of Waiting. Later, when he had gotten better, he had found out that it had been the girl from Laketown, Bard's eldest daughter, who had taken care of him, dressing his wounds, washing his body, providing him with water and broth and medicine.

Of course, he had wanted to know why she had done this for him, a stranger and a dwarf, when there had been enough injured men to tend to after the battle.

"You might not remember," she had answered, "but you protected me and my sister during the orc attack by charging the monster that had tried to hurt me. Later, before the dragon burned down my hometown, you helped me and Tilda into the boat. And then, finally, after we were stranded upon the lakeshore, you protected me and my little sister and kept us warm during the night."

It had been then and there that Fíli had understood the feelings he had harboured for that girl and had asked her immediately if she would be alright with him wanting to court her.

Sigrid had blushed prettily, averting her gaze. "Aye, if you wish... Though I have to warn you. Da and Bain are very protective of me."

As it had turned out, Bain had been harder to deal with than Bard. The dragonslayer had just sighed and said, "You are not the first one who wants to get involved with my daughter. Ever since she had turned fourteen, middle aged men and immature boys alike have approached me, asking if I would condone a union between them and my Sigrid, but I always told them that the choice was up to her. Luckily enough, Sigrid has never been interested in any of those males. But she is quite fond of you, Fíli, so since she is alright with it, I would not prevent you from courting my daughter. Just promise me that you will make her happy and never hurt her... Otherwise you will have to deal with me!"

Fíli had promised that and approximately one month later (around Yule tide) he and Sigrid had been betrothed and two months later they had been married.

However, this had been hard on Sigrid's younger brother.

"You just want to defile her because you desire her body, dwarf, that's the only reason for your proposal. I'm not stupid, I know how the older boys and men talk about women, what they do with them in the bedroom. Sigrid is too precious for that!" Bain had screamed at Fíli in front of an audience during his and Sigrid's betrothal feast. Luckily, Bard had firmly grabbed his son's shoulder and led him away, saying "My apologies, the lad just has had too much to drink!"

Neither Fíli nor his uncle had taken offense.

"Yes, Kee, that is exactly how Sigrid makes me feel. Yet I don't love you less just because I got married and started a family, it's a different kind of love. You are still my little brother and now I want to spend time with you because you are upset," Fíli answered Kíli's initial question.

His younger brother frowned. "Are you sure? I mean, you have a baby to take care of and a sick wife to tend to," he interposed.

Fíli shrugged. "Sigrid and my son are in good hands. Amad is tending to her first grandchild and deliriously happy while doing so and since Tilda has arrived earlier this afternoon, I feel kind of ignored. You have no idea how seeing her younger sister makes Sigrid happy! So, don't worry, Kíli, spending some quality time with my baby brother is long overdue," he explained.

Kíli smiled. "Well, then I think I could do with a barrel of ale, some freshly baked bread and Bombur's best ham and cheese," Kíli answered.

Overwhelmed by his affection for the younger, dark-haired dwarf, Fíli pressed their foreheads together.

"Great," Fíli simply said before the brothers rushed to the kitchens.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.  
> Please let me know what you think.


End file.
